When we lose our children to drugs

Just this Sunday past, I celebrated my birthday and I could say that it was not one of those birthdays that I would have wanted to look back on. I also celebrated my birthday in our province to attend my cousin's funeral. My cousin would have turned 47 this coming 14th of February. Her death came as a shock to many. She died on the morning the next day after her brother, who died from heart attack, was buried. My cousin, bless her soul, never had any kids of her own, thus 13 years ago when she was presented a male child who was then only 2 months old, she took it on her own to adopt this child whom she loved and adored so much. 13 years later she was stabbed by her adopted son 40 times to her death.

At 13, children like my cousin's adopted son should have had built healthy relationship with other children. But he was just different, he was high on drugs when he decided to stab his mother over and over even as my cousin was begging him to stop. I was very much affected as we continually live in a much different and dangerous world. I have three kids of my own, and I keep praying and hoping that I will be able to bring them up to be God-fearing, respectful, and very loving individuals.  Drugs can alter people's perspective in life, ruin families, destroy life, and take away an otherwise bright future. Families should continue the fight against drugs and should focus on giving their children quality time. Monsters are created not born, and as parents we have the capacity to make sure that our children by blood relation or not, are strong individuals who will turn up alright. Children should not be spoiled nor abused. We must know how to balance our authority when dealing with our children because their future lies on the hands that feed them.

back to blogging

I have not had any blog entries since last year and for a while I would not even take a peak on what is going on with my blog site. I have been busy doing a lot of things, juggling my time between making sandwiches and cooking pastas that I would be bringing to work (i sell them in the office), preparing for work, doing domestic errands and making sure that my children would have something to eat for dinner while I was at work.  

There has been so many things I wanted to share but so little time and even today I am squeezing just a little of my time for my absence from the blogging world. I would not want to stop blogging entirely as this is will form part of the legacy that I will be leaving for my children.

Grrrrrrr!

I had just finished an article when something happened and my blog entry disappeared. Normally, I would find unfinished entries in my draft but when I clicked on it nothing happened. Grrrr! And I have written a lot! Now it really sucks to be me (this time only)! I'd have to put it off for a couple of days, I can't think straight now. 

Wordless Wednesday

my Allen...

While doing our groceries, I asked my youngest son whether he was really ready to go to school and with much enthusiasm, he said "opo mommy" (yes mommy). I told him "if you really want to go to school, you have to make sure that you know how to read well."  My son answered that he already knows how to read, so I told him "ok if you know how to read, can you read this word?" (as I pointed at a big sign at the grocery aisle. My youngest son kept quiet for a few seconds then answered me "hindi ko sasabi mom, secret lang" (I won't tell you mom, it's a secret) then smiled sheepishly.

Then awhile ago, my Allen said, "mom aral na po ako" (mom i'm done studying). I then proceeded to test him and told him to read the word that I have written down. After a few seconds, my son told me, "kaw nga mom try mo basa!"(go ahead mom, try to read it). Haay...he has so many "palusots" and I have no idea how he is able to come up with them. :)

Now I can breathe...

I finally found the perfect time to tell my Papa, "I love you"  and guess what? He said "I love you" back :)  I called a few days ago to greet my father as it was his 81st birthday and it just came out of my mouth...perhaps, my mind and my heart has been preparing for this moment. And am so happy it went well. I was even about to put the phone down and was not even expecting him to answer back but he did. I was smiling the whole day I was in the office. No one could break my stance, not even my angry and frustrated customer over the phone. I was still smiling when I went home. You know how it felt like? It felt so much like Anggat, La Mesa, Magat and San Roque Dams combined. It felt like the rush of water that's been kept contained for quite a while. All the emotional baggages I have stored in the recesses of my mind has been instantly cleaned of its cobwebs of doubt. And although those words were said over the phone I know it meant a lot to him as much as it did for me. 

My father is a quiet man, he'd rather talk to the nails he pounds on the wood at the back of our ancestral home than say what runs deep in his mind. But...

Papa, thank you for putting this family together. Thank you for being the calm after the storm. Thank you for teaching me how to drive, for giving me 10 pesos each time I wash your car :)  

For teaching me and my sisters to ride the bicycle, for teaching us to love animals...especially cats. Thank you for giving us a home...for making sure we graduate from college and for putting up with what happened in between. 

Thank you Papa for being present on major occasions in my life, for being there on my graduation, and for walking me down the aisle on my wedding day. There are so many memories that you have been a big part of Papa and I am sorry I was not able to say "I love you" on several instances. I thought doing so required some form of Herculean task but I  was wrong. But there...I've said it...we can now both breathe and let go of our silly fears and doubts. :)

Pasta a la calabaza

I recently discovered ways of creating healthy food using squash. I've done it a la lumpiang shanghai with corned tuna, I've also used it as a binder for cooking "tortang dulong" (which, according to google is also called, anchovy fry). And my kids loves it! Just the other day, i experimented again, this time with pasta. I sauteed, corned tuna in olive oil and lots of garlic then mixed it with squash which i have mashed earlier. As seasoning I included lots of ground pepper and italian herbs...i did not even include tomato sauce as I think this would not match well with squash. And that was it...I just poured it over spaghetti noodles and topped it with cheese and my kids just loved it to bits! Instead of corned tuna perhaps you may want to try using ground beef or pork for it to taste meatier.